When Is the Right Time to Have a Mediumship Session?

BY ANNIE LARSON Published in Pathways Magazine, Spring 2026, page 17.

Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its

cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow.

— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D.

The question I am most often asked as a medium is, “How long should one wait after a loved one’s passing before having a mediumship reading?” This has no right or wrong answer.

Mediums serve as a bridge between the physical world and the spiritual realm; they offer a

unique ability to connect with those who have passed on and are ready. With a belief that spirits exist in a realm intertwined with our own, mediums connect with those in spirit waiting to communicate with us, which may be comforting during times of mourning. They can affirm our loved ones continue to exist and care for us from beyond the veil.

Some people may find comfort in connecting with a medium soon after a loss, while others may need more time to process their emotions. The decision to have a mediumship session is a personal choice, influenced by various factors surrounding grief, emotional readiness, cultural and religious views, beliefs about the afterlife, communication preferences, and criteria for selecting an appropriate medium and setting. Here’s how understanding all these elements can help individuals determine the most appropriate time to see a medium.

Grief in Stages

Having an initial understanding of grief and its five stages — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — can be crucial in determining when to seek a medium. Often referred to as the Kübler-Ross model, this widely-accepted framework established by psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross outlines the emotional responses individuals experience when dealing with loss of a loved one. In her 1974 book, Questions and Answers on Death & Dying, she stressed people experience the stages in different orders, or revisit certain phases

multiple times as they navigate through their grief journey.

Each grief stage presents its own challenges and emotional hurdles. For instance, during the denial stage, individuals may struggle for a variety of reasons to accept their new reality or need more time to process their loss, making it difficult to engage in a session with a medium.

Conversely, those who have reached the acceptance stage may feel more at peace and ready to explore the messages the spirit world may hold for them. It is important to take the time to

process each stage thoroughly.

Emotional Readiness

Taking the time to understand and experience each stage of grief helps build the emotional readiness needed for a mediumship session. This readiness is central, as it opens your heart and mind, enhancing the experience to receive messages from the other side.

During times of crisis, or significant life events, such as birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays, many people seek reassurance that their loved ones remain present in some form. Therefore, timing is important. Some people may find comfort in connecting relatively soon after a loss, while others may need more time to process their emotions. Recognizing where you are in your emotional journey can guide you in deciding the best time to consult a medium.

Cultural Perspectives On Mourning Rituals and Afterlife Beliefs

Cultural customs and social rituals significantly influence how individuals grieve and when they may seek a mediumship session.

Across societies, established rituals, mourning periods, and ceremonies serve as a framework for processing loss. Some cultures prefer private reflection while others emphasize communal remembrance through gatherings. For example, in Japanese Buddhist traditions families quietly honor their ancestors with rituals that include cleaning graves, offering food, and lighting lanterns to guide spirits. The Mexican Day of the Dead, Día de los Muertos, celebrates annual reunions between the living and the departed, with families traditionally visiting cemeteries, leaving flowers, and telling stories in remembrance of their loved ones.

Jewish customs center around communal support during the seven-day observance of sitting Shiva. Regular activities are paused to focus on remembering the deceased, followed by the unveiling of a headstone after one year to mark the close of formal mourning. Catholics, too, have a nine-day period of reciting prayers called a “novena” to intercede on behalf of the departed to be guided to the afterlife.

Just as these cultural and social rituals help individuals navigate their personal experiences of loss, they can help determine an appropriate time for mediumship that respects and aligns with their traditions and beliefs. Some find their cultural practices naturally support spirit communication, while others may need to reconcile these customs with personal beliefs about the afterlife.

Many cultures have religious, mythological, or metaphysical concepts of realms for the dead and supernatural beings. Interpretations of the afterlife differ widely, offering various

perspectives on what occurs after loved ones take their final breath. Eastern philosophies and religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, and Jainism envision reincarnation, where the

soul embarks on a new journey in another form or consciousness. In Christian, Judeo, and Islamic eschatology, followers believe in a judgment day, where one's earthly deeds determine their fate in the hereafter, such as the reward of Heaven for good deeds and Hell as a place of punishment for the wicked. Furthermore, some individuals do not subscribe to belief in an afterlife; atheists, for example, do not hold such beliefs, relying instead on worldviews grounded in reason, ethics, philosophy, science, and human welfare.

Evidence of beliefs and practices of the afterlife dates back as early as 3100 BCE to the unearthing of funeral scrolls and artifacts from ancient Egypt. Later, from early Biblical literature and the epics of Homer we see four prevalent themes emerge, in Greek and Roman mythology, to further shape afterlife beliefs: 1) The dead continue to exist in human form, some with supernatural powers; 2) The dead are underground in a cavernous world existence where they are separate from God, save the kings who could afford a place among the gods; 3) Afterlife punishment is reserved only for the wicked; and 4) The dead can communicate with the living

through necromancy rituals.

How we honor and remember the dead matters. Acknowledging all these viewpoints is helpful when we contemplate the timing of a mediumship session.

Perceived State of the Soul After Death

In examining various concepts of the afterlife, questions arise regarding both the nature of

existence after death and the meaning of life in the present. Perspectives on the state of the soul

after death can provide comfort, knowing that the spirit is on a journey of its own; but be aware

that it may affect the messages they are able to convey. Understanding the various stages that

spirits may go through can influence the timing of a mediumship session.

Some believe our departed loved ones guide and protect us, while others assign them specific roles such as guiding new souls. Many believe they’ll ultimately be reunited with loved ones in a peaceful place, while others think they await us in soul groups, ready to be reborn. For many, the primary experience is seen as one of rest and peace, free from earthly struggles, similar to the concept of Heaven.

What happens to the soul and when is not explicitly detailed in the Bible and beliefs around

this vary. For some, the soul immediately reunites with its source (God or Godhead) or it enters

an afterlife waiting area, such as Christian Purgatory or the Buddhist Bardo, for reflection,

closure, or life review. For others, the soul may stay near loved ones, particularly if the death

was sudden or there is unfinished business.

Many believe departed loved ones can still connect with the living, sending various signs and messages. Individuals often report experiencing vivid dreams where they feel the presence of their loved ones, receiving comforting messages or guidance. They may interpret specific signs in nature, such as the appearance of certain animals or unusual weather phenomena, as

messages from the other side. Electrical disturbances, like flickering lights or malfunctioning

electronics, are also seen as potential indicators of a loved one trying to reach out, adding to the

sense of connection that many find reassuring.

Other traditions maintain that spirit communication should occur only after the soul has

completed its journey to the afterlife, which may take weeks, months, or even years, depending

on the faith. All of this is rooted in the idea that love transcends physical boundaries, allowing

for a unique bond that persists beyond death.

Ultimately, views on the afterlife differ among belief systems. By understanding and

respecting these diverse customs — whether rooted in ancestral veneration, reincarnation, or the belief in a final judgment — individuals can choose a time for mediumship that honors both

their personal intentions and the spiritual values of their heritage.

Spirit Stages After Death — What Are They Doing on the Other Side?

Considering where spirits are and what they are doing in the afterlife journey plays a role in

the timing of a mediumship session. Spirits may be too engaged in their own afterlife journeys to

interact with us. They might not have mastered the ability to use their energy to connect, or they

may choose not to communicate for various reasons, such as having already conveyed

everything they needed to during their earthly existence.

To get closure, they may return, or they may not feel the need (even if we do). They may decide to come back only when necessary — during our times of need. However, they might choose to do this indirectly, through dreams, symbols, or electrical anomalies. You might not even realize they are attempting to reach out to you!

There is an ongoing behind-the-scenes process I have encountered over the many years in

connecting, intentionally or not, with the departed. After someone passes away, they may

remain earthbound in spirit. In various religions and cultures, we observe an initial transition

phase, like a soul in limbo, which can last from several weeks to a few months. This time seems

set aside for them to visit the living, possibly to say farewell. In Tantric Buddhism, for example,

and as mentioned earlier, this transitional phase between death and rebirth is known as the

Bardo, where consciousness persists after physical death. For an extended period, the deceased

continue to experience and perceive; after this period, they depart.

What happens after we die has intrigued humanity for centuries, sparking countless debates among philosophers, theologians, and scientists alike. While specifics of it are uncertain and purely speculative, the possibilities of an afterlife prompt profound questions: Do we really live a life after death that’s akin to our earthly existence? Where are the angels, harp-playing cherubs and the eternal resting place where all desires vanish? Do these images truly resonate with our hopes for an afterlife? Might the afterlife offer realities that go beyond what we know, and if so, in what ways do our choices, relationships, and lived experiences shape the soul's journey? I personally yearn for true rest, captured perfectly by this cheeky Instagram meme: “I hope when I'm a ghost I don't get roped into one of those ghost jobs. I'm dead, I'm tired, I don't wanna spend my afterlife teaching Scrooge the error of his ways. I just wanna float around and moan, I earned that right.”

Healing For Both Sides

When planning a mediumship session, it’s essential to consider the readiness of the spirit you wish to contact, as well as your own. Much like the closure, understanding, and a sense of peace individuals can receive, spirits may also find healing in communicating with their loved ones, as it allows them to express their continued love and support.

Some spirits may be eager to connect right away, while others might take longer to find their voice in the afterlife. They, too, have their journeys, which can influence the timing and nature of their communication with the living. Being patient and allowing time for both you and the spirit to be ready can enhance the experience. This reciprocal healing can be a powerful

motivator for scheduling a session, as it fosters a connection that transcends the boundaries of

life and death.

The Medium's Perspective

When discussing the practices and beliefs held by mediums, it is important to recognize the

varied approaches they take in their work, particularly concerning the timing of communication

with the deceased.

Some mediums prefer to wait a few months or even a year before attempting to facilitate a

connection. This choice is often rooted in a deep understanding of the grieving process and the

belief that both the departed and their loved ones need time to adjust to significant changes in

their existence. For the deceased, transitioning to a new state of being after death can be

profound and disorienting. Many mediums believe spirits require time to acclimate, to reflect on

their life and experiences, and to understand the implications of their passing. This adjustment

period is seen as vital for the spirit to gain clarity and peace, enabling them to communicate

more effectively when the time is right.

Furthermore, mediumship readings depend on a three-way connection between the medium, client, and spirit; the experience is deeply personal, subjective, and messages vary in relevance. Approach a session with realistic expectations. A medium may provide comforting messages, but specific outcomes or validations cannot be guaranteed. Understand the inherent limitations involved.

Finally, be flexible. If you expect to hear from only one person, or demand specific code words, you may be disappointed as mediums don't control who comes through or what they say. Loved ones communicate using the medium's frame of reference, so all details must be within the medium’s databank. And understand that approaching the session with an open heart and mind allows for a more enriching experience, even if it does not align with one's initial expectations.

Finding a Reputable Medium

Before scheduling any reading, it's essential to find a reputable and trustworthy medium. Start by asking friends, family, or colleagues for recommendations, especially if they have had positive

experiences with mediums. Personal referrals can provide valuable insights into a medium's

abilities, style, and professionalism, helping you narrow down your choices.

Next, thoroughly explore the medium's website. A well-designed and informative site should reveal details about the medium's approach and connection style, background, training, and the types of readings they offer. Look for testimonials or reviews from past clients, validating

experiences and the quality of the medium's work.

Their website may also specify whether they provide readings online or in person. If in person, do they take place in a professional office, their home, or do they come to you? Consider what type of setting makes you feel safe and at ease. Some may prefer the neutrality and

professionalism of an office, while others might appreciate the convenience of an online session.

Conversely, a home environment — especially that of someone you do not know — can be

surprising, awkward, or even distracting. Do you really want a reading in a stranger’s kitchen?

Check for affiliations with professional, spiritual, and metaphysical organizations, which can

indicate a commitment to ethical practices and ongoing education in the field. Consider whether

they are a leader, published author, speaker, or have media links to radio, podcasts, or television

to listen to them speak. A medium's social media profile can also provide a sense of their

authenticity and approachability. See if they resonate with you.

Reflect on your own preferences before committing yourself to a reading. Taking these factors into consideration will help ensure you find a medium who aligns with your needs and offers a safe, supportive environment for your spiritual exploration.

Intuition Will Help You

Ultimately, intuition plays a vital role. Whether it is through a feeling of urgency or a sense of calm, listening to one's inner voice can guide individuals toward the right time for a session, as well as help them identify a medium who resonates with them. I believe spirits know which

medium is best able to communicate their messages. When clients tell me “I knew you were the

one,” I know spirit is behind the scenes guiding them. Trusting one's instincts in alignment with

personal readiness and emotional state can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful experience.

There is no "one-size-fits-all" answer when to book a session with a medium after the death of a loved one. Remember the grief journey is unique, shaped by your life's rich tapestry of

experiences and beliefs. On the other side, spirits may also need time to adjust, reconnect with

other spirits, and come to terms with their earthly life, all of which impacts their readiness to

communicate. Honor your personal healing process, trust your instincts and inner voice, and

select a reputable medium who resonates with your needs.

Whether you are searching for comfort, closure, or a sense of continued connection, allow both your heart and spirit to lead the way. Ultimately, embracing patience, discernment, and self-compassion ensures your experience will be meaningful, respectful, and deeply healing as you navigate the bonds between worlds.

Annie Larson is a psychic medium, speaker, and healer featured in TV, radio, and print outlets

including The Washington Post. She offers mediumship sessions providing evidence of the survival of consciousness, meeting clients in Sterling, Virginia, by phone, or online. MediumAnnieLarson.com

Mediumship article published in Pathways Magazine, Spring 2026